She had already decided I was the back half

We met for coffee, and she brought a garment bag so large I assumed she had errands afterward. Nope. It contained a two-person horse costume. She said she'd been looking for a boyfriend who could “commit to a bit.” I laughed. She didn't. There was a printed schedule: costume contest, charity walk, neighborhood parade. Apparently we were booked through several seasons. I asked why our first date involved becoming livestock. “It's a compatibility exercise,” she said. Then she explained that she'd be the head because she had the vision. I'd be the back because I seemed supportive in messages. She wanted a practice lap around the coffee shop. When I declined, she offered me a carrot. An actual carrot, from a zip-top bag. I told her I wasn't comfortable being assigned a role before we'd even talked. She sighed and said this was exactly what happened with the last guy. I came looking for a connection and somehow left feeling bad for a horse's previous butt.