He buried our chemistry before I got there

He invited me on a beach date with a metal detector. My friends said he sounded like a fun guy, and for once I wanted to be the woman with a cute first-date story. Ten minutes in, he found a tin containing a note: “Tell your handsome companion one thing you admire about him.” Weird treasure, but okay. The next tin contained two mints and a card saying “A kiss would be historically appropriate.” I declined to consult the archaeological record. Then I noticed every discovery was beside a bright orange flag. He admitted he'd buried everything that morning, including a customer-satisfaction survey about himself. He said I was ruining the spontaneity by noticing the flags. We reached the final location. Nothing. He dug, checked his phone, dug again, then asked if I'd help search for the handwritten invitation to a second date. I said no thanks and left him excavating his own romantic intentions. Later he texted, “Found it.” Glad one of us got closure.