Screenshots from the apps. Names, faces, and numbers are blurred before anything is posted. These don't enter contests, but they do get reactions.
App: Hinge · Table: Unhinged Bios
I matched because their bio said “fluent in Italian” and I thought we could practice together. Instead, I got three courses of verbal breadsticks and a lecture on tolerance. Apparently the language barrier was me knowing the language...
Keep reading: Fluent in witness protection ItalianApp: Tinder · Table: Unhinged Bios
Fictional demo: I finally matched with a man who looked EXACTLY like his photos. Unfortunately, his coastal villa, rooftop lounge, and Tuscan kitchen were all available in three finishes. I thought we had similar taste. Apparently I was his target demographic...
Keep reading: His entire passport was a floor plan