He invited me to a wedding for the centerpiece

He invited me to a wedding as his plus-one. We'd had two good dates, and I was excited to be the woman on his arm instead of the woman arguing with her closet. At the reception, he handed me an enormous folding tote. “Act natural,” he said. “We're taking the swan.” The swan was a glass centerpiece surrounded by flowers. Apparently he'd spotted it in a planning photo and decided it would look incredible in his bathroom. I explained that being invited to a wedding did not include shopping privileges. He said his gift had “more than covered it.” His gift was a candle. He asked a server when the decorations became public property. She fetched the wedding planner. He told her I collected swans. I said I had never wanted less to own a bird. The planner took the tote. I called a ride. He texted later that he'd gotten something after all: a framed table number. It was table two. Finally, an accurate count of his good dates.