The puppet asked for a second date

His profile said he was good with awkward silences. As a woman who's survived several dates about cryptocurrency, I considered that a selling point. We met for a picnic. He opened his basket and pulled out a ventriloquist dummy wearing a tiny blazer. No food. Just a wooden man with better lapels than either of us. He introduced it as his "social buffer." Fine. I could roll with a bit. The dummy asked whether I considered myself wife material. I told the actual man that was a weird first-date question. He looked offended and said, "I didn't ask it." For the next twenty minutes, the dummy criticized my choice of sparkling water, asked about my savings, and claimed I was avoiding eye contact. My date nodded along like he was also concerned about how this interview was going. When I stood up to leave, the dummy asked for a second date. I said no. The man whispered, "Could you let him down gently?" So I told the dummy there was someone else. Specifically, the person operating him.