She wanted a refund from the wishing fountain

Our first date was coffee and a walk. As a guy whose flirting mostly consists of offering napkins, I appreciated a simple itinerary. At a fountain, she took out a binder labeled OUTSTANDING REQUESTS. She'd been throwing coins in there and documenting every wish. None had come true, so she wanted me to film her demanding a refund. I laughed. She handed me a microphone made from a wooden spoon wrapped in foil. Her evidence included a wish for "more spontaneity," filed between two laminated tabs. She announced her complaint to the fountain, waited, then said the silence was an admission of liability. A maintenance worker explained that he couldn't refund wishes. She asked for the fountain's supervisor. He pointed toward the parks office. She wrote down "chain of command established." I said I wasn't filming anybody and started to leave. She flipped to another page and called after me, "You were supposed to be emotionally available!" Apparently I wasn't her date. I was an overdue shipment.