His ex got joint custody of our appetizer

He mentioned he was on good terms with his ex. Great. I'm a woman who considers "can discuss a breakup without hissing" a promising start. Then she arrived at our dinner carrying a waffle iron. Apparently they were exchanging the last of their stuff, and he'd decided our first date was "neutral territory." She put the waffle iron between us. He handed her a single oven mitt. She said there were two. He said the other was a personal gift. For twenty minutes I watched international diplomacy over quilted fabric. Then they asked me to settle ownership of a ceramic goose. I said whoever wanted it could have it. Both looked offended. Apparently the point was that neither wanted it, but neither wanted the other to win. When our appetizer arrived, she took a mozzarella stick. He said those weren't part of the agreement. I paid for my drink and stood up. He asked if we could continue the date after "distribution." The ex said, "Let her leave. She's not on the inventory." Only person at that table who understood boundaries was the woman holding my mozzarella stick.