His museum tour had a very unreliable narrator

He offered to plan our first date at an art museum because he was "basically a docent." As a woman whose usual date planning involves searching "food near me," I appreciated the initiative. He handed me headphones. The audio tour began with his voice saying, "You are standing beside a deeply eligible man." I laughed. Then we reached a landscape and the recording said, "Like this river, his communication is clear and consistent." He had recorded an entire museum tour about himself. Every painting was apparently evidence that I should date him. At a portrait, the audio mentioned his "excellent conflict resolution." Meanwhile, he was arguing with a museum guide who said we were blocking a doorway. I took off the headphones. He pointed at a bench and said I needed to sit there for the emotional climax. I left instead. He texted that I'd missed the best part: a recording of his mother recommending him. Finally, an exhibit with a known bias.