His ex wanted custody of a catchphrase

Halfway through coffee, my date said he admired how fair-minded I was. This was based entirely on me saying both muffins looked good. Then his ex arrived carrying a folder. He explained that, as a woman with “no stake in the outcome,” I could settle one final issue from their breakup: who got to keep saying “Well, that's showbiz, baby.” She had printed texts. He had a timeline. Both claimed they'd introduced the phrase into the relationship. He asked me to initial a napkin acknowledging that I'd heard opening statements. I said I was on a date, not a catchphrase tribunal. His ex stared at him. He'd told her I was a mediator. She apologized and offered to buy my coffee. We left together while he demanded a ruling on whether her offer constituted witness tampering. Outside, I asked if he was always like that. She sighed. “Unfortunately, yes.” Neither of us said the obvious thing. We weren't risking litigation.